The mind is a terrible thing to waste. Time is a terrible thing to waste, too. When I decided to go nappy, I had no “support” and no online community to run to. It was not a sudden decision — it was an idea that I’d considered, for a long time. Hair is just…hair, to me. It’s okay that it’s more than that, to others. But, it is not, and will never be (praise God!), anything else but…hair, for me.

Anyway, a few years after I “gave up the lye”, I came upon a fantastic online community, for nappturals. I joined, and was really excited about talking about hair, and shootin’ the breeze about different products.

I’d never had a “hair album” before, and never really felt a need to have one. However, I soon discovered that others had a curiosity about “NappilyEvahAftah”, so I decided to create an album. I looked at other albums, for ideas about what pics should be in mine. Now again, hair is just not “cerebral”. I understand “nap hatred”, and pressure to conform to this society’s beauty standard. But I don’t come from the place, and there are others like me.

So, imagine how surprised I was, when I recently discovered that if you post a pic of your hair, with conditioner, you’re probably guilty of trying to show your texture, “more favorably”. The only true indicator of napp acceptance, is if you post a pic, sans conditioner, and any other styling products. I didn’t get that memo. Did you?

If you only have pics of twists, twist/braidouts, rod sets, etc. , it could be an indication that you only find napps beautiful, if they’re manipulated to look more like “wavy” or “curly” hair, than nappy hair. You should have an equal (or greater, actually) amount of “fro” shots. I missed that memo, too.

Then, another sister decided to start a forum for those who have the tightest, coiliest napps — not out of a desire to exclude other nappturals, but as a resource (styling techniqures, products, etc.) for those who may have a harder time finding others, with the same hair type. You woulda thought she’d started a race riot. Offenses flyin’, like glass from a broken window. Why?

What really gets me, is that people actually have the time to think about all that. Wow.
I really would love to see folks give others the benefit of the doubt — instead of being SO easily offended, so easily hurt, and so easily led to the wrong conclusions about folks they don’t even know.  It’s like with all this hair “acceptance”, we should be much healthier, as far as the insides of our heads, too. But it seems that many of us, only deal with the surface — okay it’s more than “just hair” to some, but life is more than…hair, period. Isn’t it? Is there such a thing as, “nappolitical correctness”?

Somebody, please send me the memo!

A Nappy Girl