I really wasn’t going to address this, but I guess I have to. One of my three readers (lol!) wanted to know what I thought about Don Imus’ remarks. Okay, well, here goes…
Don is guilty of profound ignorance. I don’t think he even knows what the word “nappy” means, which is not to say that he didn’t know that it would offend. All (or the majority)of the black players wear relaxed hair, so I found the “nappy” part of the “nappy-headed ho” comment to be interesting, because it really didn’t fit. The “ho” part was just plain offensive.
Calling a black woman a “nappy headed” anything, can sometimes cause more problems than calling her a…”ho”. Why? Because a lot of the music our young women listen to, is littered with lyrics that degrade women — black women, in particular. Yet, many of these same women can be found, on any given day, ridin’ around in their cars, windows down, CD player blastin’ with the latest misogny set to music, with their heads boppin’ up and down. Why would you listen to such trash? I’m confused by that. I can’t be the only one — black or white.
But, call a sista a “nappy headed” anything, and you betta be prepared to fight. When a black person wants to insult another black person, the first places we go are hair and skin color. Obviously, I don’t find the word “nappy” offensive, cuz that’s what I call my own hair. Some of my fellow nappturals hate the word, because of its supposed origins (I say “supposed”, cuz I’ve never really researched it for myself). They prefer “kinky”, “coily” or “curly”. So, even black folks can’t agree on if the word is offensive. But because we know how much hair texture and skin color can factor in the whole “self esteem” equation (because of the side effects of slavery), we automatically draw the guns, when a clueless white person decides he wants to be “funny”, at our expense.
The two times I was verbally attacked, regarding my hair, both of the perpetrators were African-American males. Did it hurt? Sure it did. Did it hurt more, than Don Imus’ statement? Sure did. I don’t expect a black man, whose hair is at least as nappy as mine, to use my hair against me. Something ain’t quite right about that. So, while I wasn’t hurt by being called “nappy-headed”, the hatred and contempt that made these guys add the word “b*&ch” on the end, stunned me. Shook me up. So, I can handle Don Imus. The unsettling truth is that I’m much more likely to be called a “nappy-headed ho” by a black man or woman, than a white man. Now, let’s talk about why THAT is, shall we?
Someone referenced this site, and others, in a post questioning how black folks could be so angry at Don, but not have a problem when other blacks use the “nappy” word. It kinda reminds you of the “Well if you all can call yourselves niggers, then why can’t we!” questions, that always seem to pop up. That’s another post.
A Nappy Girl
