Now, give Lisa a heart-felt handclap (if you’re a single, Christian woman). Or, don’t. I’m just glad I got a chance to read an article for single Christians, written by a single Christian, who’s older than twenty-five.
If you know me, you probably know that I think the vast majority of married Christians have no business being the primary resource for ministry leaders, for single Christians. Many don’t have the spiritual sensitivity (I remember reading an article, by a Christian married woman, that basically stated marriage was a much “higher” calling, than singleness…), nor the experience that comes from living the single life, everyday, far past the age of twenty-two.
BTW, I challenged “Mrs. Married Saint”, respectfully (via email) and NEVER got a reply, a rebuttal or just a confirmation she even got my email. I guess she figured her calling was much too “high”, to be concerned with the spiritual condition of those, with a much…lower calling. Do I sound like I’m still ticked off? Maybe I am, cuz I still get emails from my younger Christian sisters, who are trying to figure out why the heck they can’t “be found” by a good man. They fake it, while at church. Sometimes church is the most painful reminder that you’re not “virtuous” enough. But when they’re at home, they can’t hide the disappointment and the pain. Shame on the Body of Christ!
Since my “deprogramming” about fifteen years ago, I’ve been able to live a happier, more content single life. I’ve had a few bumps along the way (that have actually lessened my desire to marry), but I don’t have too many “sad” days. God is SO good! EL Roi sees ME, and knows my name!
Amen!
very honest, good post!
I appreciated this post. I’m young (24 yrs old) but I beginning to learn some things about singleness too. It seems (to me) that the church kinda looks down on singleness. It really boggles my mind why some churches have ALTER CALLS for people who are single waiting to have a man/woman. That’s crazy to me! As if getting married is the ultimate goal in life.
There has to be much more in life than getting married.
There IS much more to life, than getting married. Trust me. I believe marriage is great, and motherhood too. I hope to get married, still. But don’t (not you, anyone) try to say that the “call” to marriage is a higher one, when Jesus Himself was single, and no “call” was higher than His. I am honored to be in His group.
99% of those standing at those altar calls are…women. You evah see an equal number (no, how about…any) of men standing there? Nope, cuz they ain’t thinkin’ that seriously about it. Most of them know they can snap their fingers, and women will appear, out of nowhere. No need for prayer vigils, seminars, dating workshops, etc. They can just be, and be married, if that’s what they want.
Never settle. Even if it seems like all your friends are marrying, and you feel left behind, left out, or whatever. I work with brides-to-be everyday, and I tell you, MANY of them are trying to gain access to the married friend’s clique — they wanna be brides, but not wives. They don’t wanna be “the last one to get married”, even if it means they’ll be divorced, and back at square one (now with MUCH more baggage) within five (5) years of their trip down the aisle.
I’m rolling into 35 in the next couple of weeks. Of course, my plan was to be married with a couple of kids by now. God thought otherwise. So, here I am. I’ve been deprogramming as well, my, the Black church has a serious hold on our lives, doesn’t it? I thought the Lord God was supposed to have that kind of hold….uhm, let me not digress here. Anyway, I have also been questioning the reason why I want to get married and my desire seems to be lessening as well. As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to grow very content with the idea of being in my 40s before settling down FOR REAL. You are ABSOLUTELY correct. Menfolk in the church ain’t running to the altar to pray up on a good woman. They are too busy enjoying the pickings cause many of them ‘church ladies’ are pretty desperate. I just wanted to send my few comments to let you know that (clears throat and sings) ‘you are not alone. I am here with you’. LOL
Thanks for stopping by. Good to know there are some other sistas out there, working thru their “single season”, with grace and…wisdom.