Okay. I’m surfing the web this morning (it’s after 2AM, and I should be in bed), and I come across this blog post, referencing a comment made by a used-to-be-napptural sista, who gave up the her natural hair (and went back to the “creamy crack”) because….she wanted male attention, and brothas were not feelin’ her.
Another napptural sister made a comment about how Black men have been “colonized” . Another agreed, offered no remedy, but stated she would only be with a Black man. Wow. 
Hmmmm…well, I guess I don’t get it. I wish I WOULD relax my hair for a “brotha” who has hair growing out of his scalp just like mine….just to get “attention”. Is “attention” all we want? Cuz you can get an abundance of that, and STILL end up lonely and alone. People will often require that you fit into their box, in some way or another…hair is just one way you may be asked to conform. If you conform, you will eventually come to your senses (when you’ve matured), and while the awakening is freeing, it often means the end of relationships that were built on shaky foundations. So, you end up alone again.
There’s something about being willing to be something else, to get love and acceptance…it often makes one appear broken and pitiful. The vultures hover above, waiting to descend and destroy. You’ve set yourself up to not receive what you want most. How ironic.
I’ve never seen a woman, with napptural hair that suited her features and personality, who lacked attention from men. You won’t get attention from all men, and that’s okay, right? But if you wear your natural hair “apologetically” (like you’re sorry about it), you will have no problem drawing those who will find fault with your hair (to start), accept your apology and ask that you change. Why would you want that?
A Nappy Girl
I was passing by and saw this post and had to comment. Thank you so much for writing this. I agree with everything you said. I’m 55 years old and have been natural for 30 of those years. I don’t regret it for one minute.
i read the comment from the woman on the other blog. I get the feeling that wearing her hair natural was not a part of her. When something is really part of you and you try to deny it, it will not work for long. You will be miserable. It happens all the time. Women change who they are to be with men and when they have had enough they end up divorced, or not in a relationship.
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Thanks for stopping in to comment! I do agree with you that you can never truly run from who/what you are.
Men are such interesting creatures…people, actually. We often miss that folks don’t really respect people who change to please others. Yeah, you may think you’re getting love and attention, but you’ve just identified yourself as one who can be manipulated. It’s such a bad thing.
I understand wanting to be attractive to men. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s nice to be thought of as attractive. But when the makeup comes off, and the hair reverts to its natural state, I don’t wanna have to hide from a guy.
I would want to be loved for me..and if I had to wait till the end of time to get that love (from a man), I’d wait…till the end of time. Loving an illustion is just that…it’s never authentic. It’s not real.
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