As we celebrate “CHRIST-mas” let’s remember that there is no greater “gift” than the gift of salvation, and that Jesus’ birth lead to His death, which is our redemption. Hallelujah! Give thanks!

Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those who have His good will! Luke 2:14

Merry Christmas!

A Nappy Girl

Why is it when women express insecurity about their looks/attractiveness, women often make it about somebody else, rather than the actual women with the issues?

“Oooh girl, you’re so pretty! If a guy doesn’t find YOU attractive, he’s clearly insane!!”

Really? Why can’t a guy not find you attractive? Now, I’m all for thinking positive about yourself, and knowing that you’re beautiful…but it’s for you, not for other people.  Because as gorgeous as you may be, everybody won’t think so. There are people, like me for instance, who tend to go for unconventional good looks on a man. The men most women swoon over,  make me yawn.

If a man doesn’t find you attractive…he doesn’t find you attractive. It doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with him. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that he’s blind, dumb, shallow…or whatever. It means that you don’t appeal to him physically, for whatever reason. That’s all it means, and that’s enough. End of story.

Sometimes we need to really think about what we say. That’s just like  somebody saying I’m blind, because I don’t find Shemar Moore drop-dead gorgeous. Now, we can joke about it (and we do among our friends), but when it comes to trying to help women who have self-esteem issues, we need to actually help, and not hinder.

It’s tragic that it’s STILL all about how we (women) look.  It’s also good to mention that finding a man who loves, respects and appreciates ALL of you is a formidable task…for pretty women, not-so-pretty women, nappy-haired women, and straight haired women.  Beauty doesn’t guarantee happiness.  Look around.

We gotta change the way we think, ya’ll,  so we can speak sense into nonsense.  Many of us have daughters and nieces to influence.  You don’t usually “out grow” wrong  thinking.  It has to be uprooted and cast out, and replaced with right thinking.

When you have the opportunity to be a “light” in someone’s life, shine bright. Speak the truth, with love.  Don’t feed the dysfunction. Get to the heart of the matter.

A Nappy Girl

10 Things I’m Thankful to God For:

1. Good Health
   I never take for granted that I’m going to always be able to walk around, breathe freely, see, and all that other “stuff” that contributes to the quality of life.
2. Good Friends
   God has blessed me with some great friends, on and offline. I them all and pray for them daily.
3. Good Sense
   Being in a “right state of mind” is a blessing.  There are so many crazy, out-of-mind folks walking around.
4. Good Job
   What’s a “good job”? In this economy, it’s a job that keeps you working. So many folks have lost jobs, or are about to lose jobs. Whenever my job starts to get on my nerves, I remember that…and go chill somewhere.
5. Shelter
   Having a home to go to is a blessing. Not having to sleep on the streets is a blessing.  Being able to come in from the cold is…a blessing.
6. My Parents
   My parents are still living, and I’m thankful for that.
7. P.F. Chang’s China Bistro
   I that place! No, I don’t go for the “Lettuce Wraps”.  I’d much rather eat the “Lemon Pepper Shrimp”, or the “Dan Dan Noodles”.
8. PeaceloveandSunshine’s Coconut Confidence
   A rich, virgin coconut oil/unrefined shea butter blend that is dessert for the hair. God is good.
9. My Loyal Readers
   Thanks for the encouraging comments, emails and
10. New Mercies Each Day
    Lamentations 3:22-23.  Selah, indeed…

Have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday. Be thankful!  Be grateful!

A Nappy Girl

Okay. I’m surfing the web this morning (it’s after 2AM, and I should be in bed), and I come across this blog post, referencing a comment made by a used-to-be-napptural sista, who gave up the her natural hair (and went back to the “creamy crack”) because….she wanted male attention, and brothas were not feelin’ her.

Another napptural  sister made a comment about how Black men have been “colonized” . Another agreed, offered no remedy, but stated she would only be with a Black man. Wow.

Hmmmm…well, I guess I don’t get it. I wish I WOULD relax my hair for a “brotha” who has hair growing out of his scalp just like mine….just to get “attention”. Is  “attention” all we want? Cuz you can get an abundance of that, and STILL end up lonely and alone.  People will often require that you fit into their box, in some way or another…hair is just one way you may be asked to conform. If you conform, you will eventually come to your senses (when you’ve matured), and while the awakening is freeing, it often means the end of relationships that were built on shaky foundations. So, you end up alone again.

There’s something about being willing to be something else, to get love and acceptance…it often makes one appear broken and pitiful. The vultures hover above, waiting to descend and destroy. You’ve set yourself up to not receive what you want most. How ironic.

I’ve never seen a woman, with napptural hair that suited her features and personality, who lacked attention from men. You won’t get attention from all men, and that’s okay, right? But if you wear your natural hair “apologetically” (like you’re sorry about it), you will have no problem drawing those who will find fault with your hair (to start), accept your apology and ask that you change. Why would you want that?

A Nappy Girl

Because as Christians, we are called to forgive. Christ has forgiven, and continues to forgive us.  We sin against Him, everyday…in thought and/or deed. If God, for one moment, withheld His forgiveness where would you or I be?

Life is but a…vapor. One of my co-workers (one who was very unkind, spiteful and just…mean to me, without cause) is now in the hospital, dying of advanced cervical cancer, as I type this post. It breaks my heart, and I would never have wished that for her. You never know what tomorrow will bring. We count on God giving us another day, to do what we know we should do.  Help us all to live as if it’s our last day.

He who has been forgiven of much, loves much (Luke 7:47).  I also believe that when you have known the forgiveness of Christ, in your own life, for your own messes, you can’t help but extend it to others. Once you realize that there is truly none good but God (Matthew 19:17), you can embrace the goodness of God and invite the one who wronged you to partake. Do they deserve it? Nope, and that’s something you both have in common.

A scripture for meditation:
Psalm 103:10

Selah, indeed!

A Nappy Girl